Search This Blog

Tuesday, February 12, 2013


This week is "Spiritual Emphasis" week at my place of employment. This means we have chapel every morning at 8:00 am so you better get here early or you will be the person everyone sighs, roll their eyes, and begrudgingly stands up for so you can find a seat. The situation is not improved by having the majority of the back rows cordoned off. In addition, people save seats by placing hymnals spread eagle on them. In my opinion, this is cheating. There is never anyone guarding these "held" seats so basically the fact that I work for a Christian organization is the only reason that method is working. People could totally just move the books but their conscience would smote them later so they are polite and leave them. I leave them, because I am a polite rule follower, but I am annoyed.

When everyone stood for worship the people on either side of me raised their arms in praise. That is when I thought, " If there's a fire I could die, people would trample me, there are too many people in here, I don't have any space, I can't move my arms without touching someone...." Claustrophobic. Thankfully the person on my right almost immediately realized the situation and lowered their arm because they are considerate. The person to my left, in addition to having their arm in my space, began to sway(church dance).....awkward.

Upon sitting down for the sermon the person on my left sank down into her seat, propped one knee on the chair in front of her and proceed to stretch her leg under the seat in front of me. The person behind me, apparently suffering from a cold and lack of a Kleenex began to suck their snot, LOUDLY. This was accompanied by the individual a few seats over hacking up their lungs. The germs were coming for me, I could feel it.

The good news? I get to do this all week.....


  1. I hope you were able to sing songs of praise to God as Healer and about the blood of Jesus. ;-)

  2. I ROLLED when I read this!!!!!!!!!! haha I was def. the person on her right and I almost couldn't bear the person snorking their snot!

  3. Oh my goodness, this is hilarious and completely relatable!

    P.S. When I read Aaron yesterday's blog he laughed a good minute later about the comic you included. ; )

  4. Keep it up and I will be addicted to reading this blog :)

  5. Oh my goodness! This is cracking me up. And I understand the claustrophobia thing. True confession: I also get claustrophia-ish feelings when I am in the backseat of a two door car.