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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Mid-week Thoughts

It has been a pretty slow week in the office. More funny scholarship photos, stupid questions and paperwork. On Monday the office was FREEZING. My hands had trouble typing I was so cold. When I took my lunch break in the "break room" I went to close the blinds, hoping that they might stop some of the cold air seeping in through the windows. When I closed the second blind *something* jumped out at me and landed on my pant leg. I gave a tiny shriek and danced around until I saw nothing on my leg. Then I saw that it was a flying beetle that was now on the carpet. I assumed, dead. In order to avoid the creepy creature I moved all of my stuff on the table in front of the other chair and began to walk around the table in the other direction. That's when the same insect jumped out at me AGAIN from its resting place on the chair which I had moved to sit in. Again, I shrieked. This time I killed it. Squashed it hard with my shoe. Then I moved my stuff again so I could sit in a chair and keep my eye on the window in case anything else was after me.

I also discovered on Monday that the temperature control unit in the hallway for the entrance I walk in and out of everyday was not working. After putting in a request for it to be fixed I was informed that it had gone out before they thought it would but they wouldn't be fixing it until APRIL because that is when they had budgeted to put in a new system. It is gonna be a chilly greeting for me until spring.

Last night I had an unpleasant reminder of how my insecurities are still so prevalent in my mind. I know I am not alone in my struggle for complete confidence and finding my self-worth in Christ alone. 26 years and I still listen to the lies that I am too skinny, not good enough, not smart enough, not godly enough. ENOUGH.

My husbands affirming words and actions are not the fix for my insecurity and doubt. ONLY God fills the void and and while my husband is being used by God to heal my wounds ONLY God can make me whole.

Psalm 45:10-12

New International Version (NIV)
10 Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention:
    Forget your people and your father’s house.
11 Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;
    honor him, for he is your lord.

Monday, January 28, 2013

So, it's Monday

Had a wonderful weekend with family and didn't want it to end! Can I say the breakfast buffet at Hemingway's was the PERFECT way to end a 21 day Daniel fast. I must also admit that my stomach was NOT thanking me but it was totally worth it. This week we go back to regular eating habits but we will definitely do our best to continue to eat fruits and vegetables and curb our sugar intake.

On Saturday we drove out to Reed's Springs to sample the Reed's Springs Pizza Company (voted #1 pizza place in MO by USA Today) but we almost couldn't find it. After passing a home proudly sporting the confederate flag and a rifle we had second thoughts about our directions. We turned around and plugged the location into the GPS which saved the day! The pizza place was full of local character and characters and a VERY small bathroom. Great food! Saturday afternoon we hung out at the apartment and while I was preparing dinner my family was enjoying "The Further Adventures of Ma and Pa Kettle". A classic film that shouldn't be missed!

My husband took a few moments to take out the trash, which seemed to take longer than it usually does. I heard him come in and then I heard what sounded like an armful of metal pipes falling to the ground. Turning to discover the source of the noise I found him grinning sheepishly and toting what appeared to be an exercise machine he had found by the dumpster. Upon his discovery he had pulled it around behind the dumpster in order to avoid being seen while he tested it for problems. It worked just fine and is now in residence in our apartment. We are going to miss the dumpster when we move into a house this year....the source of so many good things that other people are too lazy to move. Although, we still feel a little ridiculous...

Friday, January 25, 2013

Ahhh, Friday

Friday at last. Short weeks often feel the longest. Last day of the Daniel fast and that feels great. My tummy probably won't love me when this weekend is over but my senses will be happy. I was planning my meals for next week so I can go grocery shopping tomorrow and I was doing a little research on the new breakfast sandwiches that Special K have recently begun selling. Google got the message, just not clearly:

I am not Spanish or Spanish speaking, despite my last name....thanks Google ads.....nice try

Last night my husband and I went to the Library to pick up some DVDs for the weekend. He discovered a show he watched as a child:

Pretty cool. I had never heard of this show but it was entertaining. Almost as good as MacGyver:

Yep, this is what we watch in our household. Manly 80's shows. I know you are jealous. Happy Friday!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Friday Eve

Only two more days and the Daniel Fast is completed! The cravings have never stopped they just lessened a little. Last night I wanted chocolate REALLY badly. What did I eat? Cashews. 48 hours....

Yesterday, my boss took the office for frozen yogurt. Was it cheating? Yes. Did I feel badly? Nope. There is no way I was going to pass up on FREE frozen yogurt and I wasn't about to go watch everyone else eat it. My sacrifice was not smothering it in candy as I usually do, thereby eliminating any part of it that is "healthier" than ice-cream. When my boss asked me "Don't you put anything on top?" I had a moment of indecision  Do I tell her, "Yes, usually I cover this sucker in chocolate sprinkles, reeses pieces, and Oreo crumbs, but I am fasting so I can't." This sounded ridiculous in my head so instead I stood there, thinking it through, awkwardly...finally I said, "uhm, no." without conviction. Tonight is veggie burgers and I am excited like it is hot fudge sundae night.

At work I am in the process of administering two scholarships. I am amazed by the pictures submitted for a press release should they win. One student directed me to her facebook page. Uhm, really? No. I told her she needed to send me her photo as an attachment. I also wanted to say, " the whole world is not 17, please act accordingly." I have also received cropped photos from award ceremonies with somebody else's shoulder right next to their face...that's what you would want in the newspaper, huh? Well, alright....amazing...

Last night I dreamed I was back in High School. When I woke up I was so happy to be an adult. Then, I thought, I wonder what my current friends were like in High School. Would we have talked? Been friends? I already know that my husband and I would not have spoken. He was popular and I wouldn't have got a second look with my crazy curly hair and braces. There are a few that I think I would have connected with but several who would not have talked to me. It is so nice what adulthood does for leveling the field and bringing maturity....for most people ;)

Happy Friday Eve!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Almost There...

I opened my eyes on Saturday and was questioning my reason for getting of bed due to the fact there would be no coffee. I inwardly groaned at the thought of getting out of bed and curling up on this cold morning with a cold cup of water and a banana. I know this may sound pathetic but you try going 2 weeks and counting with no warming beverage in the month of January and see what motivates you! However, just one more week! Yay! Almost there....

I was VERY happy to have a 3 day weekend. I was NOT happy that my husband had to work all day on Saturday. After bringing him his lunch at about 12:00 (I did get all of the laundry done before leaving the house=10 bonus points to me) I, of course, planned to stay until he was done. Neither one of us guessed it would take 3 hours longer to finish the job than anticipated. So, while he worked I watched tv online and read. I still felt like I had been working all afternoon. Weird. Poor guy. Thankfully he took Monday off so we could spend the holiday together and relax. On Monday I watched a Miss Marple (Agatha Christie mystery novel character) mystery wherein they completely changed the outcome. Not the identity of the murderer but what happened to the characters after the murderer was caught. I was extremely confused. However, I save my outrage for movie adaptations of the Narnia Chronicles. I have never seen so much license taken with beloved stories. Why? Those stories are perfect! Outrage. I also caught up on season 3 of Downton Abby. Why did I sit for 4 hours to catch up on this series? So that I could too could understand references to various characters on Facebook and Pinterest and feel like a part of the culture, that's why. Was it good? Yes, yes it was. Did I have to resist the urge to speak like Maggie Smith's character when it was over (sarcasm with sophistication)? Yes, yes I did. Then next time someone asks me if I have seen Downton I can say, YES! YES I HAVE! Success.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Radio Trouble

This morning I rode to work in silence. This was not by choice however, my radio has gone out. A few months ago the husband and I had car trouble. It started with his car on a business trip. Then after a few weeks of trips back and forth to the mechanic my car began having issues. Apparently, it missed "B" (the name for his car) and wanted to spend more quality time at the mechanic. Some months prior to this the cd player had ceased to work in my vehicle. I still had the radio which supplied my needed NPR fix in the mornings. There  is just something so grown up about listening to NPR on your way to work with your coffee in your travel mug. Anyway, the buttons had always been a little sticky. This was reminiscent of my dad's radio after my brother threw up all over it when he was very young. Let's just say Christmas lights and Mexican food haven' t been the same since. I am not saying that the children of the previous owner threw up on my radio, I just tried not to think about it. Well, when I got my car back the radio didn't work at all. Regardless of this fact I still, months later, check the blank clock for the time.

To fix this problem of silence my husband bought me a travel speaker to hook my i-pod to for music. The first day I had it I pulled out too quickly from my apartment complex and the speaker, attached to my i-pod was thrown, with force, all the way across my car and slammed with a loud thud into the door on the passenger side. After this trauma it still continued to play. It was fine that day. In the days since it seems to have a mind of its own. A couple of days ago it simply wouldn't come on, instead the light would flicker and go out and nothing. The next morning, it came right on and played fine. The last couple of mornings it will play the first song great and then suddenly the vocalists sound like they are a choir of 13 year old boys whose voices are changing and cracking simultaneously. It will usually play okay on the ride home, just needing to be picked up and set back down when it gets weird.I am one of those strange people that need music to concentrate. If I don't have music my mind wanders. This car silence has resulted in too many of those moments right after going through a light when you think, " I don't remember seeing the light change, but the cars in front of me were going...that is so scary." Now, I could go buy a radio/cd/i-pod player but right now I just don't want to spend the money. Frankly, I prefer putting money in savings and buying groceries. Don't worry, I will get one, eventually....

Thursday, January 17, 2013

First Post Ever!

So, with a little hesitation I have decided to begin a blog. As a private person I am not usually one to share my daily happenings with any beside those closest to me but since I don't think it too likely that this will get beyond that group of select few I am not too worried about it. Anyone who plans to judge me can just plan on not reading. ;)

Can I begin by saying that this is officially the LONGEST week of the year thus far? Possibly, this is magnified by the fact that I am halfway through week two of the Daniel Fast and my body is still screaming for what it wants but can't have. What does it want? Cheese of course, and chocolate, and coffee, and meat, for Pete's sake, is that too much to ask? Yes, yes it are fasting, dang it...At least this time around I haven't been a raging de-tox bear. My husband appreciates that. 

To get to work this morning I had to dodge a trash truck, an Asian man going the wrong way (read directly at my vehicle) on his bike and a parking lot cutter. You know those people. They go tearing through the parking lot, cutting across the shortest way, frightening the rule followers patiently using the arrows. Dedication people. Then, when I arrived, I scratched my nose to find dried snot (sorry TMI) and I was very grateful that I had sent e-mails rather than walking to my co-workers desk to make my comments. I hope that I am not the only person to experience this. I also woke up to find my face to be a massive dry spot. Oh, winter...

On a more serious note: last night I had some time to truly reflect. Confession time: I skipped church and planned to watch "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" online. It kept stopping though and after the third time I realized that the Spirit was telling me to just spend some time with Him. So, giving in I put on some worship music and began to journal. Words were flowing. It was healing. Possibly I will go more into all of that at another time. For now, I want to end with this challenge that was spoken: "Be bold and courageous my daughter. Be bold and courageous!"

I believe those words are for all of us daughters of the King.But,what is God speaking to you?  Don't forget to take the time to just listen. Through quiet, through worship, through writing, through taking a walk, whatever you may choose. Just, take time. He will speak.